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When Sunny Mera isn’t working, she’s mothering and writing stories. She was inspired to write the story All in Her Head after her battle with postpartum depression, psychosis, delusional disorder, and a diagnosis of severe mental illness. She comes from a privileged, educated, stable home, the medication she takes for her condition is effective for her, and she has never been criminalized for her illness. She has spent the last decade writing a narrative she can live with.
All in Her Head: A Novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is purely coincidental.
In 2005, ideas that can’t have been true formed in my memory bank. After I had enough of these episodes to convince my family and doctors alike that I was suffering from more than the baby blues, I was diagnosed with postpartum delusional disorder, then psychosis in 2006. At first I underwent five months of treatment, then five years of treatment, then more treatment, until finally, in 2014, I changed providers and my diagnosis was reclassified as schizophrenia. Until they discover the cause of brain disease, I’ll need treatment for the rest of my life.
In 2006, when I departed from the world as others know it for the first time and entered the world of psychosis, I experienced something I didn’t know was possible. I had no exposure or reference to what psychosis was like, except for that movie A Beautiful Mind. My family had no awareness, and there was very little literature at the time available to me to understand my experience. When I came back from psychosis, it was soul-crushing to learn how drastically I had misunderstood my circumstances in my delusional state of mind. Still, those vivid memories remained a part of me, and I couldn’t free myself from them. So I decided to write a story. I made the book fiction, because everyone who loves me told me when I was sick that I was delusional, and that my stories weren’t real. They can’t have been real, can they?